#NaNoWriMo2019 Today was a struggle

Today, Day 3 of NaNoWriMo was a struggle.  I’m not sure what it was but the entire day I was feeling sort of blah and not in the mood to do anything . I’m going to theorize and say that it was the hour change that messed me up.  I got up super early and actually got quite a few words down which helped out towards the end of the day when I started feeling like I was running out of steam.

Here’s today’s video.

Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year?  How’s it going?  Let me know if you have any tips for when you feel blah and how to break through it.

Wish you all lots of luck and I’ll see you all soon.

Ana

What am I Writing – NaNoWriMo?

NaNoWriMo is upon us and as nervous as I was before it started I think my nerves have calmed down.  I figure out what I’ll be writing and now it’s just a time to find time to write.  Between day one and day two I wrote 4,495 words.  Then this happened 🙂

 

I thought I’d vlog my process and originally the idea was to upload it to Youtube but I’ve not been able to do that.  I want to have something to look back on and remember the process.  I don’t know about you but when I accomplish a goal I rarely think of about what it took to get me to that point.  There are some lessons learned and I can remember those but I imagine that watching the process will be an added bonus.

Today is day 3 and I have been sitting in front of my computer for a while now.  In my defense I have been fighting with iMovie and trying to figure out how to get this video on here and on Youtube.  I think I finally figured it out.  Good luck to me and if you’re writing during NaNoWriMo, good luck to you as well.  Please leave a comment below and let me know what you’re writing about.

See you next week.

Ana

 

#NaNoWriMo – What if You Don’t Like me…… What?

Some of you may have read my post last week where I, for a moment, was having a freak out moment.  My #NaNoWriMo month was apparently going to be taken over by the scrip writing fairies and I was about to go along with it.  Perhaps it was fear of not being able to accomplish the goal of 1,667 words per day, perhaps was the fear of not being good enough, perhaps it was a whole lot of both.

It’s true.  I, very often struggle with not feeling like I’m good enough.  I’ve heard that most people do.  However, some of us, like me, sometimes take that fear a bit farther and sabotage ourselves.

Need to be good at something

I was never one of those kids that was exceptional at anything.  I’m not sure I ever tried really hard.  I have always been afraid of trying hard and failing.   If I fail others won’t like me and worst yet, I won’t like myself.   Words and stories are easy for me and I rarely struggle to create something that people want read or listen to.  I CAN TELL A STORY and that makes me happy and proud.  IT MAKES ME LIKED.  It’s something I don’t want to lose.

#NaNoWriMo

#NaNoWriMo is a contest where you have to write 50,000 words in the month of November.  There will be winners and losers (I hate to say that word).  What if I am a loser?  What if I don’t achieve the goal of writing the 50,000 words? Not winning, to me,  will mean that I’m not good at writing and if I’m not good at this thing that I rely on for sanity what exactly am I good at?  I rather not know! So, when I realized that there was a chance (a very big chance) that I would not win this thing, I freaked out and began creating reasons as to why I couldn’t enter the contest.  It’s not me, really! Rules are rules.  I was hiding behind the rules.

I sabotage myself

I create reasons why I can’t.  I’m either too busy to do it or I’m not prepared or, in the case of #NaNoWriMo2019 my story changed from a novel to a screenplay and because a screenplay is never going to be 50,000 I cannot enter the contest.  That would not be fair to others.  If that sounds stupid or someone calls me out on my lie, I go a little further and say.  Ok I will write the screenplay but that takes me out of the contest and therefore I can’t lose.  Our brains are so good at making up their own stories.

This time something shifted.  I fooled my brain.  Within a few days of writing last week’s blog post I began to dream up a different story.  A story that means a lot to me and winning isn’t about the 50,000 words.  Winning is writing the story and getting it off of my chest.

So, here I am.  Ready (well, as ready as I can ever be) to enter #NaNoWriMo2019.  My first ever and I’m really excited….. Now if I can only figure out how to tell the story without really telling the story.

See you next week

Ana

On Writing that Novel…. Well….

So I may be writing a television script! Now What

I promised myself that this is where I would be taking accountability for this #NaNoWriMo adventure I’ve put myself on.  Like I don’t have enough adventures … I don’t…. but that’s not the point.  The actual point is that I don’t have the time…. I do….. but again, that’s not the point.

Last weekend, and let’s be clear, 2 weeks before the actual NaNoWriMo starts I basically abandoned the novel planning and decided that my story would be best told in a scrip format.

Really?  a script?  What do I know about script writing?  absolutely nothing …. then again, what do I know about novel writing.  So if I’m going to do this should I be going with my instincts?  considering that my experience with novel writing and script writing is about the same (nothing) then why not go with my instincts?

Having said all this, I am stressed out.  I have completely abandoned all the work that I put into planning a novel.  It was IT IS such a great idea.  It’s not wasted.  It’s still there and it will be there for when I’m ready to finally write it.  My stress is that I now have 2 weeks to start the writing marathons and I have not planned my anything.  I don’t even know how to begin writing.  WHAT?  I’m not even sure I have story!!!!

I told you, if you stick around this place you’ll always have an adventure around the corner.  What do you think will happen next week?  Will I have the script planned out and be ready to write?  What will the story be? I’m still not sure.

Ana

 

#NaNoWriMo2019 Am I a Planner or a Pantser?

My Scrivener File

Half of October is already gone and I’ve been working on planning and plotting my novel.  I’m not sure I’ve succeeded.  Well at least not in the way that I envisioned a “real planner” would.  perhaps I’m a combination of planner and a pantser

Planner v. Pantser

They are two approaches to first draft story writing. Why Planner and Pantser? Planners are writers who plan their novels, and Pantsers write their stories by the seat of their pants. Detailed outlines are the purview of Planners, typically completed before a single word of the actual story is set onto page.

Most of my life I have been a planner, I love my check lists and I live by my calendar.  I carefully make sure I have all my to-do’s organized and worked out every evening before bed and like most planners, I sleep much better when I know what is on my plate for the next day.  I know, of course, that things change and I am fully capable of changing course if an unexpected issue comes up.  Having said that, I was fully prepared to be the same way about my writing.

I should have known better!

Turns out, I’m not so much into knowing every single detail of my novel before I start writing it.  I tried, but besides feeling completely stressed out and uninspired, I achieved very little else in the past two weeks.

Last night, I sat at my laptop while watching some NaNoWriMo videos and began working in Scrivener in cork-board mode and the excitement of the story began to resurface.  So, for what I can tell, being a planner in some aspects of your life does not mean you will be a planner as a writer.  Although, I would not say that I’m a pantser either.

I have tried to write many novels.  I’ve had a million ideas for novels.  However, this is the first time I am actually going to put myself out there and write something.  I say all that to say that I’m not sure how or where I fit in and honestly I’m not sure I want to fit in any of the boxes already laid out for me.  So what, I’m not a planner and know every single little detail of the story before I write the story?  Also, so what I’m not a pantser and I can’t just sit at my computer and start typing something without some sort of “map” to show me at least a direction?  the point is to write and discover who I am as a writer.

NaNoWriMo is almost here and I’m super excited.

PrepTober for NaNoWriMo

Nanowrimo

A lot has happened this year.  Some things have been great and others… well, not so much.  I’m no longer bitter and right now I’m choosing not to fight the tides.  Going with the flow has allowed me the opportunity to relax and see into the future a little better.

I remember a conversation I had with my father at a pretty young age when I revealed the fact that I wanted to be a writer.  Perhaps a journalist…. the practical side of me knowing that a journalist would at least have a steady paycheck and that would make dad happy.  It didn’t!!!!! I remember being told that writing was a hobby, not a profession and that I needed to get a profession where I would be able to support myself.  Not bad advice but not great either.  I don’t remember specifics at this point in my life anymore.  I don’t know what happened once that advice was imparted but I believe that was the moment when I gave up my dreams of ever writing for a living.  I didn’t even give it another try and I think I put away all my writing tools to focus on making my father happy.

Don’t get me wrong, we arrived at an agreement.  I would not become a doctor nor a writer but I would be something that made both of us a little happy.  It’s been a good run and I’ve enjoyed the benefits of being very good at what I do.  However, as I said in the beginning of this post.  A lot has happened this year……. some great and some not so much.  In the midst of all the happenings I have set out a challenge for myself.  I have found the courage to at least try to do what I want to do.

Write….. I’m going to write!!!!!

I’ve signed up for NaNoWriMo this year.  If you don’t know what that is NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month.  In the month of November many published authors and some that are not published yet get together and form a community of writers who set goals for the month to write a novel or finish one… some make goals to edit a novel and get it ready to print and publish.  This year, I’ve decided to enter and write 50,000 words of a novel I’ve been “cooking” up in my head.  Through the month of November I will be writing and posting here with my progress.  I don’t particularly care if no one reads it.  This is for me, my dream, my life.  As I said, some things that happened were good and some not so much but they all have allowed me to see that living others’ dreams is worth it.  We all have disappointments but it’s far better to be disappointed having done something you loved and set your heart on fire than be disappointed having lived someone else’s life

A lot has changed this year…… and this is not the only dream I’m working on.

Here we go!!!!!